Jennifer Zare, LISW-CP
Pathways Counseling Center
The holidays often come with a lot of pressure—perfectly arranged cookie plates, elaborate DIY crafts, unique daily elf-on-the shelf stunts, matching family pajamas, and picture-perfect social media posts. It can feel like there’s a “right” way to do the season, one that leaves many parents exhausted and overwhelmed.
But here’s the thing: the most important part of the holidays isn’t about the what. It’s about the how. It’s about how you show up for your child.
What Your Child Will Remember
Years from now, your child won’t recall the exact toys they unwrapped, how many holiday events you attended, or whether the cookies you brought were homemade or store-bought. What will stick with them are the in-between moments:
Baking cookies together and laughing when one turns out looking “unique”
Building a fort from wrapping paper scraps and pretending it’s Santa’s workshop
Watching their favorite holiday movie snuggled under a blanket with hot cocoa
Singing carols (off-key!) in the car while driving to see holiday lights
Sitting on the couch while they tell you all about their favorite part of the day
These moments, filled with love and connection, are what your child will carry with them.
Let Go of the Pressure to Be Perfect
The holidays aren’t about achieving an unattainable level of perfection. They’re about showing up with presence, warmth, and care.
Sometimes, that means saying “no” to the extra commitments that drain your energy. It might mean letting the decorations be a little uneven because your child insisted on helping. Or it could mean eating frozen pizza on Christmas Eve because the day was so full, and that was what everyone could manage.
The magic lies in the connection, not the choreography.
You’re Enough—Just by Showing Up
If you’ve been searching for a sign that you don’t have to do it all, this is it. Showing up for your child—imperfect, human, and loving—is more than enough.
Take a moment to remind yourself: your presence, your attention, and your love are the greatest gifts you can give your child this holiday season.
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